Point blank: The faster you learn this the better off you will be, YOU are NOT EVERYONE’S CUP OF TEA. For a long time, I would shy away from giving my own opinions because I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers in hopes to be liked. We all have that desire…to be liked…to be loved. It’s human nature. No one enjoys the opposite. I don’t sit and get all giddy when someone says they hate me. To be liked by everyone makes some people feel as though they are all-“right”, but honestly, to be liked by everyone means you are often doing something wrong which is not being yourself and standing firmly in who you are. If this is you, your opinion, attitude, stance, and even personality changes based on your associations. Your worth sources from the validation of others instead of God’s. If validation comes from Christ, the right people will eventually gravitate to you.
Be prepared. The moment you take your platform public (putting yourself out there), people will make their opinions public. When you are on a platform, you are making yourself more visible and, therefore, more people will have something to say. You cannot let that bother you. Don’t keep your platform a secret just to hush negative voices. Don’t tiptoe around to make people feel comfortable. Don’t be silent and risk your passion not being heard just because someone doesn’t want to hear it. It took me years to get this!
Let’s take my videos for example. Some people think I talk about God too much. Others think I don’t mention Him enough. Some people think I’m fake and phony, while others find my excitement a breath of fresh air. Some people think my videos are too long, while some would like a little more. Some people won’t even think to push play on these videos because of my race, gender, or age. Seriously, am I supposed to be a 65 years old Asian male one minute and then a sassy redhead the next? No! That’s absurd! No one can please everybody.
If I had thirty people in a room and I want all of them to like me, I might have to change my outfit thirty different times, pretend to like something, wear my hair a certain way, have a particular job or income, or have a certain educational background. By the end of the night, I’d be a hot mess, tired, exhausted, and worn out. With thirty people in a room, there would obviously be opposing perspectives, so people would eventually see me siding with all points of view. This would cause me to lose credibility. Credibility is the foundation for respect that I (we) cannot afford to lose. It diminishes trust.
Instead, what I would need to do (in that room of thirty people), is stand in the middle of the room and announce exactly who I am, becoming a magnet. The people meant to cling to me, would be the ones to cling to me. Those are the people to be impacted and blessed by what I (you) have to say or do. Your message, your makeup, your platform matters to the people they are meant to matter to. Don’t leave your stage to get one more person back into the audience who would eventually walk out anyway, especially when there are people who WANT to see your show from beginning to end.
Sometimes we may get offended by those who walk away. Don’t get upset. Not all people who walk away are jealous, envious, or hateful, but some are your friends. Have you considered that your platform may not be something they need in this season of their lives? It doesn’t mean they don’t support you. It doesn’t mean they are not behind you. It is for this reason why we must respect each other’s gifts: there may be a person who has a similar message that you do, but a totally different personality or approach, and they are the ones who attract the people who might have walked away. Thank God there are people with similar passions who can capture the people you might not be for. We have to be okay with that and STILL not change who we are.
Some people are not going to like you (for reasons unknown). People are going to say things. Some people will smile in your face one minute and talk about you the next. This has happened to me, and I spent weeks wasting time thinking of one person that didn’t like me- losing sleep and not eating, asking myself how can I change this person’s feelings about me? It’s not worth it.
You have a decision to make. Are you going to put all your energy, thoughts, and progress into the one that doesn’t like you, or the ninety-nine that needs your story told? What about the ninety-nine that doesn’t like you, but the one that desperately needs you? I’ve come to learn and be okay with not being everyone’s cup of tea and learning that has set me free. For challenges, video, and scriptures, click here.