I found myself being such a yes woman in my twenties. Can you come to my event? Sure! Can you volunteer? No problem! Can you complete this? Absolutely! Can you fund this? Yes! Can you work on this project? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I would say yes to so many things, that I never made time to say yes to myself. I forsook what I thoroughly enjoyed for the sake of someone else’s agenda. Don’t get me wrong, I love to give and help others. It is part of who I am, but I had to learn how to set appropriate boundaries and give myself permission to invest in myself.
I think many (including myself at one point) believe carving out time for themselves is selfish when there are family, friends, school, or even a full time job calling their name. However, it is important for us to realize that saying yes to ourselves is actually saying yes to others. What good are we to our spouse if we have an attitude day in and day out because we didn’t invest in ourselves? What good are we if we’re overwhelmed with 99 obligations and have anxiety attacks because we didn’t invest in ourselves? What good are we to run around like a chicken with its head chopped off investing no time toward personal goals because we didn’t invest in ourselves? To care for self puts us in a healthy position to properly care for others, including those attached to our purpose.
The tag line for Dream Again is, “Finally Saying YES to All that is Inside of You”- saying no to certain requests and yes to yourself…no to harmful habits and yes to help… no to fear and yes to taking risk…no to giving others control and yes to taking control…no to getting in everyone else’s business and yes to learning who you are. For every yes there will also be a no, because there will be the temptation to add to your to-do list, immediately answer text messages and emails, commit to engagements, and even feed into the lie that you are self-absorbed or your desires don’t matter. You must respect yourself enough to draw the line.
So what might investing in yourself look like? According to the “Tishonna theory,” self -investment will cause you to (1). Relax, (2). Be Rewarded, and (3). Reflect. For me it’s…
- Prayer time every morning. While everyone is sleep, I have time to journal and release my worries. (REFLECT and RELAX).
- Treating myself once a week to something small that I enjoy like a tube of lipstick or candy bar (REWARD).
- A bubble bath every Saturday night when the kids have gone to bed (RELAX).
- Exercising three times a week (REWARD).
- Getting counseling once a month for accountability (REFLECT).
- Creating time to do at least one thing each day that will land me closer to fulfilling my dreams (REWARD).
(I want to add this in- Saying Yes to myself has been one of the most difficult things I’ve done in my life. When you constantly say No to bettering yourself or pouring into yourself, there are weights and weights and weights of responsibility (that could be avoided) that pile up. When those things pile up and the weight gets too hard to hold up, you will crash. You move from giving out of an overflow and instead from a place of barely enough. This is where anxiety, stress, worry and a handful of physical issues come into play that can seriously affect you focus. You have to learn to let it go. You were never made to carry all that pressure, but you hold the power to release it to Christ. He wants to take the load.
In regards to the people attached to your purpose, you must be a liberator to liberate others. If you want people who are connected to your vision to walk in wholeness, they must first see it in you. Where you go, they will follow. I don’t know about you, but I want to be my best so others can achieve their best).
Aim to allow the three “R’s” to recharge you and be the best person you can be for the ones you love and for those attached to your purpose. Give yourself permission to Finally Say YES to ALL that is Inside of You without hesitation or guilt. You are worth it, right? (This is the part where you say YES LOL). Find videos, challenges and devotionals here.